Something we clearly remember from our whippersnapper years is that Mom had no shortage of opinions, rules, and edicts. Then, as we aged, we began to notice something: she was actually right about most of these things. In fact, we would have to say that her batting average was damn near 1.000. So, in honor of Mother's Day, here are a few of the subjects that we can look back on and honestly say, "Good call, Mom."
EATING OUR VEGETABLES
Mom always told us to eat our vegetables. And yes, we fought her every step of the way. But possessing an iron will and a seemingly inexhaustible supply of preparation methods (usually involving butter), Mom held firm and got us to chow them down. And, seeing as how we didn't develop rickets, we have to say that she was right about this one.
STUDYING
It is a fact that no kid likes homework. Young Duke Cannon was no different. After all, there were forts to be built, and reading about things like photosynthesis got in the way of that. But now that we are all grown-up, we have to say Mom was not wrong about the whole "you need to have an education" thing. It turns out that, regardless of vocation, people generally prefer to utilize proper grammar in the workplace. It's also valuable to have enough working knowledge of mathematics so that you don't stiff someone on a tip, or submit a shabby tax return that results in an ominous-looking envelope from the I.R.S. Appreciate the push on the homework front, Mom.
BEING A GENTLEMAN
As we entered our teenage years, our attentions naturally started to drift towards the mysterious other half of the class. You know—girls. And once Mom got wind that we would be attending a school dance with a young lass, she moved swiftly. First, Dad was called into the room to help convey the seriousness of the situation. Then, Mom laid down the law (yes, she wrote these down): 1) Behave yourself. 2) Open the door for her. 3) Ask questions and actually listen to her replies. 4) Don't be stingy with the compliments, and 5) Take off that hat and comb your damn hair. This multi-staged advice has continued to pay dividends through the years, so again—thanks, Mom.
IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
Mom wielded this phrase more than any other in her arsenal. This was because as a kid, we complained about everything under the sun. Whether our brother beat us in basketball, we didn't get the baseball card we wanted, or the book report on Treasure Island we phoned in received a C-minus, our tendency was to let everyone within earshot know how unfair it all was. And when we did, there was Mom, delivering this clarifying message. At first, this just seemed like further proof that the world was an unjust place. But over time, we noticed that fire had not rained from the sky, nor had the earth opened up and swallowed us and everyone else. Add the planet's continued existence not depending on a minor personal matter to the long list of things Mom was right about.
FREE NAVAL DIPLOMACY SOAP WITH PURCHASE
Mom would also tell you that free soap is something you should definitely not pass on. So please pay attention when we tell you that right now, you can get a FREE Naval Diplomacy Big Ass Brick of Soap with a $65 purchase at duke cannon dot com. So stock up on some grooming goods, get a free brick of soap, and then—and this next part is important—call your mom and wish her a Happy Mother's Day.
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