Dad's Greatest Hits

GREAT MOMENTS IN DAD HISTORY

Duke Cannon loves his dad. And while Pop certainly had more than his fair share of days in the sun, there are some very specific instances where he rose to the occasion and shined brighter than a freshly polished truck bumper. With Father's Day near, we would like to take some time to remember some of the dizzying highs. 

CATCHING THE BAT

It fluttered through the hallway like a drunken bird. Your mother screamed. Your little brother almost soiled his Underoos. You said, "Cool," then figured it might be best to make Dad aware of the night creature out for everyone's blood. He arrived seconds later armed with a tennis racket and an aluminum trash can lid, and promptly returned the winged menace back to the outdoors, all the while proudly exclaiming, "This is America, not Transylvania, dammit!"

AGREEING TO GET A DOG

Dad was adamant that he would not even consider adding a four-legged member to the household until we could feed ourselves and keep the floors of our bedrooms free from debris. The potential for damage to the lawn was also cited. But one trip to the pound changed our fortunes: Larry (naming rights was one of Dad's conditions) proved equal parts irresistible and noble, and he and Pop bonded like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

THE GREAT TIGHTY-WHITIES TALKING TO

The neighbor kids had become teenagers, the kind that smoked unfiltered cigarettes and listened to outdated hair metal in their backyard all night while they talked about girls (No actual girls were ever spotted visiting, however). One night, Dad had had enough of "Here I Go Again" blasting from their tape player and into our humble abode, and marched out in his Fruit of the Looms and told them to "Pipe down, or else." David Coverdale's unearthly shrieks instantly ceased, and a restful night's sleep was had. (Addendum: after this confrontation, the teenagers became strict adherents of playing Gordon Lightfoot at appropriate volumes during daylight hours only. Coincidence? We think not).

DIALING UP A TRICK PLAY TO WIN A POP WARNER PLAYOFF GAME

Dad was known as a pretty conservative youth football coach; a staunch believer in handing the ball off about 99.7% of the time. But on that particular fall day, with the score knotted 28-28 and the clock ticking, he threw caution to the wind and signaled for the flea-flicker we had practiced a hundred times. Our squad executed it perfectly, catching the Rhinelander Hodags flat-footed and sending 13-year-old Jimmy Menzel untouched into the end zone for the victory as time expired. We were too small to hoist Dad up on our shoulders, but you can bet that few coaches in history received a more thorough Gatorade shower.

SHOWING US THE WAY

They say dads never need directions. Kids do, however. And whether it was backyard athletics or manual gearbox instruction, Dad seemed to have all the answers. And even when he didn't, he was there to lend a sympathetic ear. If you were lucky enough to have a father in your life, you know that even the difficult times, in retrospect, were good. Because Dad always had some life-changing wisdom to impart–even if he didn't know it, like when he said, "Buy the best windshield wipers they have." Thanks, Dad.

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