It's Time to Launch Some Fireworks

by Unknown on June 30, 2023

IF DUKE CANNON NAMED FIREWORKS

Duke Cannon would be remiss if we didn't use this forum to recognize that the 4th of July is coming up fast on the docket calendar. Our nation's birthday is one of our favorite holidays, because A) we love our country, and B) we love our fireworks. But to be frank, we think some of the spark has gone out of firework names lately. So we thought we'd put pen to paper and assemble of list of monikers we'd like to see applied to some of the Class-C pyrotechnics for sale in some of the finest tents across the land this time of year.

Grandpa's Schnapps Fountain
Zeus Toots
Sammy Sosa's Corked Bat
Whiskey Bottle Rockets
Loud and Impolite
Jean-Claude Van Bamme
Catch, Light and Release
The Firecracker Barrel (Breakfast Available All Day)
Get a Boom!
Ray Guy's Right Foot
Big League Spew
Chicken & Waffles
Late Night Show at the Senior Living Center
Hell's Half Acre
Illuminator 2: Judgement Day
Oppenheimer's Reciprocating Saw
Boom Boom Mancini
T.N.Tinnitus
Randy's Wrath
Buzz Aldrin Bomb
You Light Up My Life
The Cul-de-sac Missile Crisis

AND SPEAKING OF FIREWORKS

We still have a limited supply of our Big Bandit Big Ass Brick of Soap on hand to help you clean up after your 4th of July shenanigans. It will provide you with months of explosive lather, and right now, you can get a brick packed with this rich, smokey scent for FREE when you spend $35 at duke cannon dot com.